“We cannot do great things on this earth, only small things with great love.”
I tend to be a big vision kind of person. I love the idea of being larger than life, really because I believe all of us are capable of extraordinary things. I am especially inspired by doing big things with and for others.
It is 6-months to the day from breaking my leg... These last 6-months have been a lesson in not only appreciating the small things, but in relishing a new kind of creative energy. I find myself getting excited about the next big push, creation or growth, only to be reminded, most often by a nagging pain or swollen ankle, that I am not quite ready for that kind of output just yet. My body is literally stopping me from moving ahead too fast, not allowing me to miss this moment, nor the signs of the future that wants to emerge through me. I am afforded an opportunity to continually refocus - cherishing that which already exists, and imagining the next future through an ease, kindness and love that is quite new.
I don’t have this figured out...
Just last week I got terribly overzealous - cleaning out closets, trying a short hike, skiing (well, sort of), making food for friends, teaching and working hard all in the space of 5 days. After all of this, I found myself home in bed mid-day one day, crippled by the pain in my leg. I am a work in progress, as they say.
Yet, I have the sense that a new way of being is emerging, one that allows me to do the small things with so much love, that the big things just come. I am committed to doing big things on the planet, yet I know they come from the way I show up every day, not the pushing and striving I’m so good at.
Audrey Lorde said, “You can’t dismantle the masters house, using the master’s tools.” This is what I have tried to do in my life, over and over again. I know I want more peace, so I create this ridiculous “pathway to peace.” I write goals and set plans in motion about all the things I will DO in order to have more peace. But peace is not a DOING, it’s a WAY OF BEING.
One of the things I love in the Baptiste community is our focus on way of being. How am I showing up, for myself and others? What is my impact, on myself and others? How do I really want to leave people? From all that I have been through in the last 6 months, I am waking up to a new sense of who and how I can be – working from ease, cherishing what is, and knowing that a future of extraordinary accomplishment is in my available when I appreciate and live honestly from the present. There is in fact nothing to struggle for. There is only this moment to be peace. There is only this moment to be love.
Being love is the pathway to greatness. Is the means by which I will manifest my vision of serving the world on a grander, bigger level. Its starts right here, in very tangible, small ways: being kinder to my husband, taking the time to enjoy walking the dog with love, taking care of my ancient cat with kindness. This is how great things are created.
I see a possibility of a future without insane lists, narrow, hard, goals sheets, and banging my head against the wall to create. I see a future instead, full of community, collaboration, and work that is powerful, but flows from grace. It took breaking my leg to get it, but I am greatly changed. Certainly, I will have my relapses to a way of being that is anxious, controlling, and acutely afraid of failure, but I know I can’t go back. I am simply not the same person who broke her leg 6-months ago. Thank God!