Wow… what a difference a day can make. As many of you know, our little girl Bell O’Neal Spruance came into the world 10 days early on April Fools. One night I was relaxing at Crystal Mountain, enjoying a peaceful snowstorm, and not 24 hours later I was a mom. My whole life turned upside down in the most wonderful, and yes exhausted, of ways.
Tonight I sit here also blown away by our recent headlines. All week I have been puzzled at the deaths in the community, saddened, but writing it all off as “far away.” Yet yesterdays shootings in the U District hit home... only two blocks from Bell’s Drs. office where we arrived just hours later for our 2- month visit. What a difference a few hours can make.
And the lesson for me is incredibly pointed – this is the moment I have. This is the moment I have for myself, to show love and appreciation to my awesome husband and delightful daughter. This is the moment I have to love my mom and the rest of my family, near and far. This is the moment I have to appreciate the people I work with, and you, my awesome clients who are in many cases also my teachers. This is my moment to leave the checker, who was visibly still shaken at the Whole Foods near the shooting, in a better place. This is my moment. How will I live it?
Part of my growing up was understanding that no, I will not single handedly erase the violence of this world, yet I also see that peace starts with me. The feelings of anger, hatred, and resentment I sometimes harbor in my heart are left in my wake, no matter how I try to squelch them. Healing the wounds that create these reactions, this is the reason for my practice, and in truth, the reason I teach. This is my way of replacing reactions with choice, and sometimes even grace. Baron once said to me in a training, “wounded people wound people.” It may not be with a gun, but man, I still know how to inadvertently wound people. It is my life mission to learn to live beyond this fear driven behavior and more from my light, leaving people joyful and empowered.
I hope, too, that in sharing from my heart, the practice can open these doors for you as well. That you too may find more peace in your being - the kind that is not dependent on others or outside stimulus, but peace at the core of your being.
We truly do not know what the future holds, or even how much father that future extends out into the horizon. And so I offer to you, in a spirit of freedom and love, that this is not just my moment, this is your moment. How will you live it?